BBC SCOTLAND RADIO DRAMA
R4 WOMAN’S HOUR SERIAL
15 MINUTES THAT CHANGED THE WORLD
ONE SMALL STEP
by Zoe Strachan
Neil Armstrong …………………. JOHN KIELTY
Buzz Aldrin ……………….. GRANT O’ROURKE
Charlie …………………… NICK UNDERWOOD
Valentina ……………….…..…… LESLEY HART
Newsreader ……………… SAMANTHA YOUNG
Newsreader ……………… CRAWFORD LOGAN
Transmission :
Friday 16 September 2005 19:45-20:00 (Radio 4 FM)
[Rpt of 10.45am]
DIRECTED BY LU KEMP
SCENE 1: INT. THE EAGLE LUNAR MODULE, TRANQUILITY BASE, THE MOON.
1. CHARLIE: (distorted) Houston calling Eagle, do you read me?
2. BUZZ: Loud and clear Houston. (off) Hey Neil, we got Charlie on the line.
3. CHARLIE: So tell me Buzz, how’s the weather up there?
4. BUZZ: Well, I gotta say, without you guys there ain’t a whole lot of atmosphere.
5. CHARLIE: Glad to see the altitude hasn’t affected your sense of humour Buzz. Better hand me over to Neil, the clock’s ticking.
6. BUZZ: Hang on . . .
7. CHARLIE: Sometime this week’d be good.
8. BUZZ (off) Come on Neil, what’re you doing?
9. NEIL: Just polishing my helmet, Buzz.
10. BUZZ: Too much information Armstrong.
11. CHARLIE: I don’t want to break up the party, but the Eagle landed six hours ago. The natives are getting restless down here in Texas.
1. NEIL: Gimme a break Charlie. My Mom told me not to embarrass her in front of the neighbours. Anyhow, if there are any surprises out there, I wanna see them coming.
2. CHARLIE: There won’t be any surprises. Have you completed your final run through Buzz?
3. BUZZ: Water coolant check, oxygen check, EMU suits are operational. Looks like we’re ready to rock’n'roll.
4. CHARLIE: Alrighty. It is ten forty five pm Eastern Time. Neil, are you ready to make a little history?
5. NEIL: You betcha.
6. CHARLIE: Buzz?
7. BUZZ: Ditto. Let’s hope those little green men don’t eat astronaut for dinner.
SCENE 2.
8. US TV: In just a few moments the astronaut Neil Armstrong will step out of the lunar module Eagle and become the first man to walk on the surface of the Moon. We can only imagine what Lieutenant Armstrong must be feeling as he prepares to boldly go where no man has gone before. SCENE 3: INT. LUNAR MODULE/EXT. THE MOON.
1. NEIL: Give me a sec. My mom’ll go nuts if I get this wrong: One small leap step for mankind … no, it’s one small step for a man, one giant step for … right. DEEP BREATH Okay, okay Buzz, open the pod bay doors. Please Buzz. Open the pod bay doors, please, Buzz. (pause) Open the pod bay doors, Buzz, please.
Pause.
Hello Buzz? Do you read me?
2. BUZZ: Affirmative Neil, I read you.
3. NEIL: Well, open the pod bay doors Buzz.
4. BUZZ: I’m sorry Neil, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
5. NEIL: What’s the problem?
6. CHARLIE: Quit messing guys, America’s on the edge of her seat.
7. NEIL: Buzz, open the doors.
8. BUZZ: I ain’t yanking your chain. I’m hitting the button but they’re stuck fast.
1. CHARLIE: Hang on, I got the systems analysts right here. (off) We have a situation on the Eagle, module doors are jamming.
2. NEIL: Oh man, this is all I need.
3. CHARLIE: (off) What’s that? O-K. I’ll tell them to do that. Guys?
4. BUZZ & NEIL: Yup?
5. CHARLIE: The technical team recommend you, uh, apply pressure to the doors.
6. NEIL: What?
7. CHARLIE: Apply pressure to the doors. Say with one of your limbs.
8. NEIL: You mean kick them?
9. CHARLIE: Yeah, that’s what I mean.
10. NEIL: Any idea how hard it is to kick anything in half gravity wearing a space suit? Oh, all right.
Muffled kicking.
11. CHARLIE: Take it easy there boys!
Wheest of doors opening, Star Trek noise?
12. BUZZ: Doors are opening Charlie. 1. CHARLIE: Okay guys, this is it. Take your time Neil, we’re all behind you.
2. NEIL: I know you’re behind me, it’s what’s in front of me I’m worried about. Man, it’s kind of a big drop down there to the surface. You better be ready to pull me back up again Buzz. Don’t go marooning me.
3. BUZZ: I’m right here buddy.
Clanger whistle.
4. NEIL: What was that noise?
5. CHARLIE: Sound can’t travel on the Moon.
6. BUZZ: I’m not getting anything on the dials. You sure it ain’t the echo inside your suit? Those dehydrated Krispy Kremes sure do repeat on a guy.
7. CHARLIE: Neil, are you ready to step down onto the lunar surface?
Pause.
8. NEIL: As I’ll ever be. Oh man. Are you there Buzz?
9. BUZZ: I’m right here with you Neil.
10. NEIL: Okay. (low) It’s now or never time, Neil my boy. (deep breath) Here goes. 1. CHARLIE: He’s done it. He’s really done it. Oh wow. Oh wow. I’ve been waiting all my life for this. (off) Stand by to bleep him.
2. NEIL: Yeee-haw! I can’t believe it! I cannot believe it! I’m on the BLEEEEEP moon! I’m standing on the BLEEP BLEEEP moon!
3. CHARLIE: Congratulations Neil, you’re a hero. Wanna go back to the script now?
4. NEIL: Sure. Sorry. I’m just so excited at standing here on the actual surface of the actual BLEEP-ing moon.
5. BUZZ: Well done Neil, well done buddy. You alright out there?
6. NEIL: Alright? I’m over the BLEEP Moon! Hey, giant leaps is right. Boing! Come on out here Buzz!
7. BUZZ: Ain’t you forgetting something Neil?
8. NEIL: What? Oh yeah, of course. Give me a hand back up will ya? Okay. You listening down there Charlie?
9. CHARLIE: Neil, the world is listening down here.
10. NEIL: (pause, stepping back down) That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
SCENE 4.
1. BBC TV: This is quite incredible. Lieutenant Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin is now stepping out of the Eagle to join Neil Armstrong on the surface of the Moon. This is an historic occasion beyond measure. Mr Aldrin is carrying the flag of the United States of America, and the two astronauts are preparing to raise it to signify that America has triumphed in what has come to be known as the “Space Race”.
SCENE 5: EXT. THE MOON.
2. NEIL: (sound of exertion, breathing) I can’t get the darn thing in.
3. BUZZ: Nope, there’s no way this flagpole is going to stay vertical.
4. NEIL: They weren’t kidding when they said the surface was rocky.
5. BUZZ: What did ya think, it’d be made of green cheese?
6. NEIL: Don’t talk about food (burp). You weren’t wrong about those Krispy Kremes. Hey, did we bring a drill?
7. BUZZ: Hey, I don’t want anything sharp near this suit. 1. NEIL: Uh, Charlie? Do you read me?
2. CHARLIE: Yes Neil.
3. NEIL: What’s the most important thing we have to do on the Moon?
4. CHARLIE: Aw come on, you two know that as well as I do.
5. BUZZ: Collecting specimens for scientific analysis, that’s it ain’t it Charlie?
6. CHARLIE: No Buzz.
7. NEIL: Speaking to Il Presidente on the blower?
8. CHARLIE: Close but no cigar.
9. NEIL: Hmmm. Raising the old stars’n'bars to represent our great nation’s dominion over the cosmos?
10. CHARLIE: Bingo.
11. BUZZ: Erm, Charlie?
12. CHARLIE: Yep?
13. NEIL: We’re having a little bit of difficulty with the flag.
14. CHARLIE: I’ve already got an ulcer guys, you trying to give me a stroke? 1. NEIL: Negative Charlie. Sorry about this.
2. CHARLIE: Boy am I glad of that time lapse. (off) Quick, cut to the Nevada desert footage for the flag shot.
3. NEIL: What was that Charlie?
4. CHARLIE: Uh, scrub that Neil. Nothing for you to worry about. Just ditch the flag out of sight of the cameras.
5. NEIL: Did you hear that Buzz? I think those crooks actually filmed a back up.
SCENE 6.
6. U.S. TV: And the American flag has just been raised on the Moon, the stars and stripes signifying America’s greatest achievement, mankind’s greatest achievement. History is being made before our very eyes ladies and gentlemen and it’s being brought to you live by C.B.S. news.
SCENE 7: EXT. THE MOON.
7. BUZZ: Neil, look!
8. NEIL: Wow, yeah, looks just like that rock has the letter ‘C’ carved on it.
1. BUZZ: No, there.
Pause.
2. BUZZ: Oh God. Oh God. This is really something. Pause.
3. NEIL: Lemme take a look through that ’scope. Hey, you sure it ain’t Venus?
4. BUZZ: See the blue? Looks like the sun’s shining up there on Planet Earth.
5. NEIL: I’ve Never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life. It’s … it’s perfect.
6. BUZZ: But it’s so far away …
7. NEIL: Oh man, it looks so peaceful.
8. BUZZ: I wish everyone at home could get the chance see this.
9. NEIL: Those boys still stuck out in Nam.
10. BUZZ: Yeah, and the ones playing soldiers in the Oval Office.
11. NEIL: That’d give them some perspective, eh wouldn’t it?
12. BUZZ: I reckon it would. We are two lucky guys, Neil. 1. NEIL: I’ll drink to that. When I climb out of that rocket and set foot back on terra firma again.
2. BUZZ: We’re on terra firma now.
3. NEIL: Well terra backabeyond-icus or wherever we end up landing.
4. CHARLIE: I don’t want to alarm you guys, but our sensors are showing something down there with you.
5. BUZZ: What kind of something?
6. CHARLIE: Might just be wreckage from satellites.
7. BUZZ: Why didn’t you spot it before?
8. CHARLIE: The lunar day has progressed since you landed. Whatever it is has just emerged from the dark side of the Moon. Hold on while we try and to get resolution on the images.
9. NEIL: Easy for you to say Charlie … Hey Buzz, what’s that over there?
10. BUZZ: Where?
11. NEIL: There! Do you see something … red?
12. BUZZ: What? … Neil, am I going doolally or is it moving? 1. NEIL: Affirmative. It’s coming towards us. Uh, Houston?
2. CHARLIE Yep?
3. NEIL: We have a problem.
SCENE 8. Television interference.
4. US TV: NASA apologises for the disruption of this broadcast due to technical conditions which have resulted in a temporary loss of the television signal from the Moon. We are working to retrieve the signal and will recommence the broadcast of the first ever moonwalk as soon as possible.
SCENE 9: EXT. THE MOON.
5. BUZZ: Looks like all those redneck farmers weren’t seeing things after all.
6. NEIL: You getting all this Charlie?
7. CHARLIE: Is that some kind of craft following it? Hang on in there guys.
8. BUZZ: Neil, I know I wind you up sometimes but I just wanna say there’s no one else I’d rather be … 1. NEIL: You going all girly on me Aldrin?
2. BUZZ: No sir.
Pause.
Neil, it’s stopped. (shouting) We come in peace.
3. NEIL: I thought there was no sound on the Moon?
4. BUZZ: Do you have a better idea? This is man’s first contact with an alien lifeform. We gotta get it right.
5. NEIL: First contact my ass, it’s wearing an EMU suit. This ain’t no extra-terrestial.
6. BUZZ: You’re right Neil. It’s one of us.
7. NEIL: You think this is funny Charlie? Do you hear me laughing? Huh? Huh? Telling a guy he’s first on the Moon and then …
8. BUZZ: Come on buddy, calm down. I need you with me. He’s coming towards us.
9. CHARLIE: I can assure you beyond doubt that you two are the only NASA personnel on the Moon. Whoever he is, he ain’t one of ours.
10. BUZZ: Well, just so long as he’s friendly, that’s all.
1. NEIL: They let you into astronaut school with eyesight like that? Look a little closer buddy …
2. BUZZ: Well, who’da thought it?
3. VALENTINA: Dobry den! What took you so long?
SCENE 10.
4. USSR TV (f): And there are scenes of jubilation in Red Square. Thousands of women have gathered to watch this astounding victory for Valentina Tereshkova, codenamed the Seagull, the first human being to walk on the Moon. More news just coming in: Lieutenant Tereshkova has located the American astronauts. Stay with us as we transfer to footage from the lunar buggy.
SCENE 11: EXT. THE MOON.
5. BUZZ: Well, it’s quite a surprise meeting you here Miss Tereshkova. How’s old Yuri doing?
6. VALENTINA: He is very well Mr Aldrin, thank you. I will pass on your regards.
7. CHARLIE: Ask her how they did it Buzz.
1. BUZZ: Miss Tereshkova, how did you get here before us?
2. VALENTINA: We blasted off from a secret launch pad at Baikonur three hours before Saturn V launched your Apollo from Cape Kennedy. Our landing site is just beyond that ridge …
3. NEIL: Baikonur schmaikonur. Buzz, I’ve been thinking, how do we even know we’re on the Moon? You put something funny in those spacecakes and land us in Nevada, Charlie?
4. BUZZ Don’t be ridiculous Neil. There’s the Earth up there.
5. NEIL: Yeah, well it looks like Venus to me. You wanna know what I think? I think this is one of those kooky CIA experiments.
6. VALENTINA: Mr Armstrong, please. We are on the Moon.
7. NEIL: Yeah, yeah, if we pass the test we get to go to the real Moon, is that it Charlie, huh? Well, I’ve had enough of this charade, and I’ve had enough of this stupid helmet …
8. BUZZ: Noooooo!
9. VALENTINA: Nyehtt!
Noise of struggle as Valentina grabs Neil. 1. BUZZ: Neil!
2. VALENTINA: I have him, I have him.
3. CHARLIE: What’s happening?
Pause.
Answer me Buzz! Is she armed? What’s she done to him?
4. BUZZ: Done to him? Miss Tereshkova here’s just saved his life.
5. VALENTINA: Please, call me Valentina … Edwin.
6. BUZZ: Okay, Valentina. Uh, I prefer Buzz to Edwin.
7. VALENTINA: Buzz.
8. NEIL: DEEP BREATHS Thank you. Spaseebo, Lieutenant Tereshkova.
9. VALENTINA: Do you believe me now Mr Armstrong, when I say we are on the Moon?
10. NEIL: I believe you. Can’t say I’m happy about it, but it seems you beat us fair and square. Congratulations.
1. VALENTINA: Yes, it is a great victory for the Soviet Union. But I hope it is also the beginning of new friendships, between nations, and perhaps between cosmonauts too, Buzz.
2. BUZZ: I’ll second that, Valentina.
3. CHARLIE: Look, discretion’s the better part of valour. Prepare for departure … unless you fancy your chances at joining the 240,000 mile high club.
4. VALENTINA: What did your Mission Control say?
5. BUZZ: (low) Char-lie! You’ll have to excuse him, Valentina. He’s still a little sore.
6. VALENTINA: One small step for a woman, one giant leap for humankind.
7. CHARLIE: Okay boys, secondary boosters initialised by remote and we’re ready to disengage the landing gear. Time to say goodbye to the Seagull and get back in the Eagle. Open the pod bay doors Buzz.
Thumping sound.
Not again. (off) Pass my antacid, will ya?
8. VALENTINA: Allow me. There’s a bit of a knack with these older models.
Wheest of doors opening. 1. NEIL: (low) Tractor-driving Commie … Thanks Miss Tereshkova.
2. VALENTINA: You are welcome. And Mr Armstrong?
3. NEIL: Yes?
4. VALENTINA: You will still be known as the first man on the moon.
Groan of exasperation from Neil?
5. BUZZ: Come on Neil. Let’s go home.
THE END.
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